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“Ypsimata”

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It’s been a while since I last coined a new phrase here. I like doing it, but, as they never really seem to catch on, I’ve become less inclined to put in the effort. (I’m still angry that my phrase “face taint”, for that area between one’s nose and upper lip, never caught on like I thought that it should.) Today, though, as I felt an old, rusty nail making its way through my foot, another one occurred to me, and I thought that I’d share it. The word is “Ypsimata,” and it’s defined as follows:

“The bodily marks, sores, or sensations of pain in locations corresponding to the crucifixion wounds of Jesus, that are acquired simply as a result of living in Ypsilanti, Michigan.”

My injury wasn’t really Ypsi’s fault, so much as it was the fault of the guys who recently fixed our roof, but I still like the word, and I think there are probably plenty of occasions to use it. I can see it being used, if, let’s say, someone steps on a piece of glass while walking around the City, or gets rug burn as a result of having sex with someone met on the street in Ypsilanti. (I should also copyright “sexmata” for similar cases that happen outside of Ypsilanti.)

As for my injury, as much as I’d like to pretend that it’s life threatening, it’s not terribly bad. The nail did go through my shoe and into my foot, but it didn’t go deep. And, happily, I just recently had a tetanus shot after having gone decades without one. So, things aren’t too bad. I am, however, thinking of sending a photo of my bloody sock to the roofers, encouraging them to be more careful in the future. While it wasn’t too bad for me, given how thick the soles of my tennis shoes are, it would have easily gone right through Clementine’s foot. And this wasn’t the only one that I found. I’ve been picking nails up for the past few weeks… Maybe they aren’t from my roof, though. Maybe someone’s booby trapping my yard.


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